With Hummers no longer in production sales of Extenze and Enzyte soar.

     General Motors discontinued the Hummer line of cars last year, with the last vehicle rolling off the assembly line in May of 2010. As the readily available inventory has been depleted experts had expected sales of other large vehicles, such as the Chevy Suburban and the Ford F350 pickup, to fill the void. Surprising car dealers, but not psychologists, the money not spent on Hummers has instead filled the coffers of Enzyte, Extenze, and other male enhancement "drugs". One person who made the switch to purchasing enhancers is Jimmy Ray Wiley, a construction worker from Texas. "I had been savin' for months to buy the biggest Hummer I could, on accounts of the fact I ain't got no trunk in my junk. It's a secret amongst men that that a really big car can compensate for havin' a small package. And a Hummer being the biggest car out there can more than make up for poor endowment. Fortunately, women don't know this secret and when they sees a guy drivin' a giant vehicle they automatically think the dude is packin' an anaconda. Since I can't get me a Hummer I thought I'd put myself right in the horse's mouth and try to fix my junk. I figure I got $58,000 to now spend on them pills. And if that don't work, well, I don't know. Maybe I can put on some bronzer and try to become Speaker of the House."
     Psychologist Bulow Von Claus is not surprised by the switch. "Zee hummer iz very difficult to replace as far as a vehicle being an imaginary male apeendage. It iz very large, very masculine, and most weemen are uncomfortable driving it because of its girth. Even zee name Hummer has sexual overtones. No other car in zee market compares to zee sexy maleness, so now zee men must turn to enhancement drugs."
     One Italian automaker is trying to pick up the Hummer customers left behind. It has designed a new sports car that is low and wide in the back, with fat rear tires that are covered with synthetic black hair. It is long and lean in the front with a tubelike hood and can go from zero to 60 to reverse to 60 again in 15 seconds. Only time will tell if the Lamborghini Fellatio will be able to fill the void.